What Does it Mean to be Aromantic?

Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week is now upon us, so I thought this would be a good time to share a bit about what it means, exactly to be aromantic.

These four flags, asexual, demiromantic, aromantic, and demisexual respectively, are all a part of my Patchwork Pride flag collection, which can be found by clicking on this photo.

What is Aromantic?

Lithoromantic: “an individual who feels romantic love towards someone but has no desire of having these feelings reciprocated. It’s also known as… romantic. This term also falls under the aromantic spectrum…” (Pace, 2023)

Alloromantic: “people who experience romantic feelings for one or more individuals” (PIÑEIRO, 2021)

Aromantic: A person who does not experience romantic attraction towards others. It is also the name for the spectrum that encapsulates all the identities relating to not feeling romantic attraction towards people in some form.

Arospec: an abbreviation for the term aromantic spectrum. It is often used by people as a shorthand way to explain that they fall somewhere on the aromantic Spectrum.

Asexual: A person who does not experience sexual attraction to others. It is also, like aromantic, the name for the spectrum that encapsulates all the identities relating to not feeling sexual attraction towards people in some form.

Demiromantic: “Only experience romantic attraction after forming a strong emotional connection with someone”. (very well mind)

Greyromantic: “People who are greyromantic experience romantic attraction, but not as frequently or intensely as alloromantic individuals. This can overlap with lithromanticism to some extent - a person might identify as both - but not all greyromantic individuals are lithromantic” (Ohwovoriole, 2023 )

History and Observance

The first observation of Aromantic Awareness Week was held "November 10th-17th in 2014, under the name Aromantic Awareness Week; in 2015” (Aromantic-Official, AUREA).

Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week (abbreviated as ASAW) is now held on “the first full week (starting Sunday) following Valentine’s Day” (Aromantic-Official, AUREA). For 2024 that means that ASAW will be from the 18th to the 24th.

Symbols for Aromantic Pride

A “[w]hite ring worn on the middle finger is often worn by people who identify as someone on the aromantic spectrum” (Symbols of the ace-spectrum)

A symbol that overlaps the asexual and aromantic communities is the “[a]ce of Spades [which] is often used by asexuals who identify as someone on the aromantic spectrum” (Symbols of the ace-spectrum)

The Ace of Spades is a symbol of pride within both the Aromantic and Asexual Communities.

There have been multiple iterations of the Aromantic Pride flag. The one that is used by the arospec community currently “was created by Cameron Whimsy in 2014…. The color green was chosen to symbolize the aromanticism as the opposite of red, the color which is the most commonly associated with the romance” (Aromantic flag and symbols explained).

As with all pride flags, each of the colors has a meaning. As mentioned above the greens represent the aromantic spectrum itself, and were chosen to be as far opposite from the traditional colors of romance as possible. The white stripe represents platonic and aesthetic attraction, and the grey and black represent the spectrum that acknowledges the spectrum of sexuality that aromantic individuals also inhabit (Aromantic flag and symbols explained).

This Aromantic Pride flag is a part of the Patchwork Pride Collection by Stet Studio and can be found in my shop by clicking the photo.

The first Aromantic pride flag “which is no longer used… was created around 2011, on the website of the National Coalition for Aromantic Visibility. The flag received a lot of criticism as it didn’t seem to include the full aromantic spectrum, yet included alloromantic people” (Aromantic flag and symbols explained).

The colors of this pride flag were green for aromantics, yellow for romantic friendships and dating, orange for lithoromantics, and black for romantics who reject traditional romantic culture (Aromantic flag and symbols explained).

The original design of the Aromantic Pride flag, created in 2011.

The arrow (like you shoot out of a bow) is a symbol used by most aromantics to show their pride in their identity, simply because ‘aro’ sounds like ‘arrow’.

‘Arrow’ and ‘aro’ sound so similar that it has become a a symbol of aromantic pride.

Hearts might not be one's first guess for aromantic pride symbols, after all, hearts are pretty romantic, right? Well, I think these next two symbols are a great reminder that hearts, and love, do not need to be romantic. “A completely green heart or a heart with the aromantic flag on it, is also often used as a symbol for the community…. people on social media use the green heart emoji as this is used to indicate aromanticism. You will often see the green heart emoji given as a response in the comment section of videos about aromanticism” (Aromantic flag and symbols explained).

Yellow flowers are a symbol of aromanticism because “in the world of flowers, the color yellow means friendship… [and] can also symbolize happiness, joy and new beginnings” (Aromantic flag and symbols explained). Another great reminder of the types of love beyond romantic.

Because of the meanings associated with yellow flowers in floral language they have become a symbol of aromantic pride.

Another symbol that is intertwined with the asexual community, is the gryphon. The dragon is a symbol for the asexual community, both are mythological creatures and they represent the feeling of invisibility both communities often experience, especially when those who aren’t a part of these communities insist that these identities do not exist (Aromantic flags and symbols explained)

Books with Aromantic Representation

As a book-lover myself, I would be remiss if I didn't include a book with Aromantic representation. I recently read the book Kaikeyi: A Novel by Vaishnavi Patel*, which is a retelling of the story from the Ramayana. I found Kaikeyi, herself, to be Aromantic (and asexual). She mentions multiple times not feeling the way her husband's other wives do towards their husband or anyone at all. She also speaks of loving him, instead, dearly as a friend.

Any hyperlinks followed with an asterisk (*) indicate they are affiliate links. If you purchase something from this link, I receive a small commission from the site. It will not change the price of the product for you.

Bibliography

Aromantic flag and symbols explained. Asexuals.net. (2022, July 16). https://www.asexuals.net/aromantic-flag-and-symbols-explained/#aromanticflag

Aromantic-Official, AUREA. (n.d.). About asaw. Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week. https://www.arospecweek.org/about-asaw/

Ohwovoriole, T. (2023, August 9). What it means to be Lithromantic. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-it-means-to-be-lithromantic-7567805

Pace, R. (2023, July 19). Lithromantic: What it is, WHAT MAKES ONE & 15 signs you may be one. Marriage Advice - Expert Marriage Tips & Advice. https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/signs-of-lithromantic/#:~:text=The%20term%20lithromantic%20refers%20to,to%20be%20in%20a%20relationship

PIÑEIRO, S. M. C. (2021, May 18). Alloromantic: Everything you’ve ever wanted to know about what it means to be alloromantic. Cosmopolitan. https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sexopedia/a36461835/alloromantic-definition/

Symbols of the ace-spectrum. Kent State University. (n.d.). https://www.kent.edu/lgbtq/symbols-ace-spectrum#:~:text=White%20ring%20worn%20on%20the,asexuals%20who%20identify%20as%20alloromantic.